WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
