I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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