Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
