she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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