i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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