i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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