It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
