So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
