So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
