just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize