Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize