the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
honey bunches of taint.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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