SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How naked do you want me to be?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
