Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
