if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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