the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
