Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
