he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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