at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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