I want to make a zoo with you.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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