whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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