i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
