____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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