i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
