she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
