Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
