is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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