Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
