But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
