I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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