It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
