Duck Duck Cougar?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
