and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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