I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
