I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
