Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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