come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
