Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
