YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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