I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
