I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize