Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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