I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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