In the future we'll all be gay
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
