D3 body, D1 cock
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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