A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize