I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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