i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
