My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
