Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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