R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
