I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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