yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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