Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
