I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want to make out with him forever
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Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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