Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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