don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
