how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
