This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
