the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
