He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
